Don’t let the straw break your back.

I’ve been thinking about how I would start this article for some time. And I’ve decided to just come out with this announcement. I started seeing a therapist in January… and I’m loving it! Just in case you needed to hear this, going to therapy is okay. In fact, it’s better than okay. It’s life changing. We take care of our body through exercise and healthy eating. We get our yearly physical. We go to church on Sunday. Why wouldn’t we tend to our mental health with the same tenacity?

How did I decide it was time? It had been years since my last therapy session back in college. I was going through big feelings of grief after my dad died. I loved having that outside perspective. It also helped me with anxiety about school and the unknown of the future. Over the past few years I felt that ping again. I thought about going back to a therapist but didn’t feel like I had any big, surmounting life events that would merit therapy. During this contemplation, I found myself pulling out a yard stick and comparing my life to other people’s lives. I was telling myself I didn’t have it “that bad”. In fact, if you look at my life on an Instagram feed I have a pretty dang good life. Last fall someone said to me, “What exactly happened that made you think you need therapy?” Let me reassure you that you don’t need one GIANT event or terrible thing for you to want to better yourself. I hope you don’t wait for the straw that breaks the camel’s back, sending you on a downward spiral. I’m going to take this article one step further and tell you to stop comparing your experiences with other people. It’s like comparing apples to oranges. And if you decide you want to improve your life by making this change, go for it! You don’t need anyone else’s permission.

January & February have always been tough for me. It’s dark more than it’s light. The blankets of white snow strip our beautiful Minnesota landscape of it’s greens, blues and browns. Even the sun is hard to see some days. Insert a major vitamin D deficiency… are you picking up what I’m throwing down? If a particular time of year is tough for you, that might be a clue that you need to arm yourself with self-care remedies or maybe finally make that appointment to see a professional. They know the right questions to ask to challenge you and can also serve as a sounding board.

Another hurdle I had to clear...was the cost. I had no idea if my insurance would cover it. Guess what? There’s this little number on the back of your insurance card that you can call and ask about mental health coverage! It’s that easy. At some point in the past I had a terrible interaction with a telephone agent answering the phone for my insurance company. They made me feel like if I went to a therapist it would somehow count against my “clean bill of health” or affect my future coverage if I were to need to switch insurance companies. What a load of bull.

The most difficult part …. was actually admitting that I might “need help”. We are constantly bombarded by messaging that encourages us to hustle, succeed, achieve. It doesn’t leave much room to reflect, evaluate and ask for help. We have so much opportunity that generations before us didn’t have. I don’t know about you, but I feel a huge responsibility to do something GREAT every day, just because of this. Somewhere along the line we have been conditioned to do more with less. Society tells us the equation for success is to grind all day and one day we will crack the code. Whew… that was exhausting just proofreading this paragraph. No wonder it’s hard to ask for help!

Why am I sharing this with all of you? My hope in publishing this article is that it will reach someone who really needs to hear this right now. The stigma swirling around mental health is ALIVE and thriving in our society. It makes me sad just thinking about it. What would our world look like if we could flip that around? What if people were no longer afraid to say “I need a little extra help right now”? Wouldn’t it be nice if we talked more openly about where we go for these needs? We don’t shy away from gabbing with friends about where we go to the gym or what doctor we are seeing.

It might sound a little something like this...

“I work out at The Base and love the classes they offer.”

and

“I go to Clinic Sofia for my yearly checkup and their staff is so friendly.”

and

“I go to Healthwise Behavioral Services and it’s changing my life.”

I’m not 100% certain why I finally decided to make the appointment this year. But I am so glad I did! If we continue to wear our blinders about our emotional needs, it will continue to take a toll on our bodies. Over time this can cause serious harm. Let’s help each other and future generations by shutting down the shame and guilt that surrounds mental health. I encourage you to see a professional at some point in your life. No one is immune to heartache, terrible life events or relationship struggles. I hope you tend to your mental & emotional well being just the same as you take care of your physical & social well being. Simple as that.